Updated: Apr 13
I will likely continue sharing until Trashpile is closed and im certain im only surrounded by people who give a fuck about sexual assault. I also want to see the people I name take true accountability and responsibility for their fucking actions. Public safety warning to stay away from Trashpile and the following people....
I’m upset about Floyd Falcon assaulting me Halloween 18 when he came up behind me at Maple Leaf Bar, reached under my dress, grabbed my ass, and shoved his fingers up my vagina.
I turned around, slapped him and shoved him off of me
This was at a Krewe of Overnight Marignade meetup (KOOM is a social club full of a lot of people, including all the musicians I’m calling out).
My mom was there. Saw the whole thing, and she’s one of the reasons I’ve not felt insane right now.
They kicked me out of Maple Leaf for causing a scene.
All that was in KOOM took Floyd’s side.
Bryan Evans said it wouldn’t have happened if I was sober.
They made Bryan Evans the organizer of the parties.
They continued to plan events with Floyd Falcon.
Now Floyd Falcon has opened up trash pile music venue.
They continue to play for him.
My sister posts selfies with Bryan Evans and attends KOOM functions.
Floyd Falcon has sexually assaulted me and is known to have sexually assaulted others.
I was raped as a kid couldn't do anything, raped at 17 couldn't do anything, sexually assaulted at 24 and I'm still trying to do something!
I’m upset about rape culture this has to change.
Gnatalie Crawford sent me 2 messages once in 2019 and once 2021 telling me that I am harming them and they have nothing to do with rape culture and Bryan Evans said in regards to this I'm having an episode, referring to my mental health.
They are ableist and sexist and dangerous. Please be careful around these people and warn others.
Koom, Floyd Falcon, Gravity A, The Quickening, Hash Cabbage, PYMP, Gnatalie Crawford, my sister Victoria Rodriguez owner of Monkey Monkey, and Bryan Evans are all part of New Orleans music scene rape culture.
People be like stfu about your trauma and remove yourself from triggers then ask why you're suicidal when i ask over and over and over to do something about the guy that sexually assaulted me instead of
1. Kicking me out of venue night of instead him.
2. Telling me it wouldn't have happened if i was sober.
3. Organizing events under leadership that believes sobriety negates consent during the years of grab em by the pussy.
4. Telling me there's nothing you can do the 1st 4 months after I tried to handle within krewe.
5. Sending me messages to be quiet when I start speaking out Mardi Gras 2019.
6. Continuing to do events with guy that sexually assaulted me.
7. Telling me when I speak out I’m having episodes and harming the community.
8. Turning around sending messages acting like you want to support after just telling me I was having an episode, saying it wouldn't happen if i was sober, gaslighting me for years, doing events with sexual assaulter for years, never apologizing, never admitting what you did, never advocating for me, is triggering and I truly believe you are manipulative and dangerous and again is a different way of telling me to stfu.
9. Here's what you can do to support... tell everyone you know Floyd Falcon is my sexual assaulter that trash pile music venue is dangerous that Bryan Evans and Gnatalie Crawford bullied me into silence for years that koom is dangerous and filled with several members who are silent for fear of their living or ability to make a living regarding domestic and sexual abuse in the krewe that gets shoved under the rug in the name of SEE YOU AT DA PARTY.
How can you support someone who has been sexually assaulted after telling her it wouldn't have happened if she wasn't inebriated and that if she speaks out about it she's having an episode or harming the community and that by doing events with the sexual assaulter you are not involved in rape culture but you just want to support?
First begin by never contacting them ever again. You have triggered too much and are not worth anyone's time.
Second don't kick out the person who was sexually assaulted out of the venue for the koom meetup you organized kick out the sexual assaulter to begin with
Third dont continue to do events with sexual assaulter while telling the person who was sexually assaulted that you have nothing to do with rape culture
Fourth recognize you continue to go on as normal whereas I no longer trust in anyone to protect me or care for me and it makes me switch hard between suicidal and pissed to know that after 12 years of friendship you care more about dismissing me as talking shit than the fact that I was sexually assaulted
Fifth recognize the struggle I am having with my sexuality, mental health, and sexual expression due to my sexual trauma these are long term effects due to the culture you have supported
Sixth until you do the work to dismantle this system and evaluate your role you can suck my fucking dick from the back. Edit 4/13: This is what gaslighting looks like in the form of that toxic positivity bull shit. Fuck off with that!!
And on this post I am linking every post I ever made about this on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/alexislarindacarney/posts/10224919065910084
Updated: May 14
Abstract:
If you want your ass kissed when you’re being told shit about discrimination, this is not up your alley and you are why we have this compilation of personal rants.
People say all the time, why don’t you write more personally on the blog?
As Bilbo Baggins would say, “I don't know more than half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
I write about shit that triggers me which is hard to do. I try to keep my emotions out of it so that I can be the solution and use my platform as a place to share all the information I wish I had before.
Easier said than done. I am the type to tell people to suck my fucking dick from the back.
Emotions don’t invalidate facts. Facts don’t invalidate emotions. Our toxic patriarchy has created an environment where quantity goes before quality so that money can go before people. We don’t have conflict resolution because we are repressed as a society in order to be controlled.
My research can be summed up by intersectionality: the idea that our society is based on a system that uses overlapping discrimination to allow a select few to benefit off of the majority's struggles.
Jumping from thought to thought, it does not all seem related on the surface. Stay with me here. It is all connected. We just have to put the pieces together as we realize their meaning.
Properties of Sound:
Information from the Sound Properties and The Waveform View chapter of Dan Hosken’s An Introduction to Music Technology. Check out noladeafchild.com/reading-list or noladeafchild.com/online-classes-list to find resources for more info.
Sound involves three components: generation, propagation, and reception. Which is amusing to me as my friend Eyona Nelson was just telling me that my messages have to be palatable in order to be received.
There are corresponding perceptual and physical properties of sound: pitch/frequency, loudness/amplitude, timbre/waveform, articulation/amplitude envelope, rhythm/transient patterns. What happens in the world is not what happens in our minds.
Dan Hosken says on page 19, “In the act of perception, our ears change the physical properties of sound in various ways, such as emphasizing certain frequencies, and our brain analyzes the perceived sound properties in relation to perceptions it has encountered before, such as identifying a sound as the harmonic interval of a perfect fifth played on a piano. In addition, the ear can be fooled. There are a variety of aural illusions in which the brain’s perception of sound differs from the sound’s actual physical properties.”
The idea that people have different thresholds of hearing is a case study for how we all perceive the world differently.
Deafness:
Got my hearing aids 2 years ago. The first time I put on my hearing aids I was overwhelmed with sensory overload and not understanding the new information I'm processing. It was fun experiencing everything new in a thrilling way, but it was still hard to communicate at first.
The joy came when I heard new sounds for the first time like the wind, the rain, and my favorite songs in stereo. The joy came as I learned about how my hearing aids work, as I began to understand that the hearing aids can't give me back my hearing, but it can convert sounds into frequencies my brain can understand. This is why the assistive device is useful because with just hearing aids the frequencies are muddled with everything else.
So with my Roger Select I have an omnidirectional mic that allows me to hear specific things. I can also connect it to my phone, TV, any computer, or most audio interfaces. It's pretty cool because before it was very hard for me to talk on the phone or hear anything in conditions where I cannot control the sound. Without my hearing aids, especially in group settings, I am mostly just trying to figure out what the fuck is happening which puts me in my head.
I believe sound is a natural balance that hearing tech gives me access to. Not having hearing tech is a struggle to communicate with people that do not sign, but is otherwise simply another way of existing.
I don't like most videos of Deaf people hearing for the first time because I believe they are often ableist as fuck. But between overthinking a video of me hearing Music Never Stopped for the first time and lyrics to Sound of Silence, I do think that Deaf people experience the world and perceive frequencies through an intimate mind body connection that can be easily understood through sign.
Taking off hearing aids at the end of the day feels better than taking off a bra, heels, or anything else I’ve ever had to wear for 12+ hours at a time. I love being able to fully experience sound more than anything in the world. I have loved being able to tune in with my hearing aids after years of speech therapy, surgical procedures, trying/being told I can’t use hearing aids, and not knowing what is happening in social situations.
But no one tells you about the sensory overload. No one talks about how it feels like you have q tips in your ears all day/how uncomfortable it is. When I try to speak up about how much I go through to communicate with people I feel isolated by, I feel like it doesn’t matter because the people who can actually hear don’t want to listen. Don’t want to learn.
I wish the world had access to sign, because I wish people would communicate with me in a way that is comfortable for me too after everything I go through to talk to them.
“BuT yOu DoNt LoOk DeAf"
"BuT yOu CaN sPeAk"
"BuT yOu KnOw WhAt We SaY sOmEtImEs”
Watch this: https://youtu.be/Q3eMg55igZ8
If you take Deaf issues seriously, I appreciate your basic sense of humanity. Everyone else, 🖕!
Do you have access to a DAW? You can simulate my hearing loss by applying the following to an entire song... First cut out the sound above the following intensities and frequencies: 15 dB at 250 Hz, 20 dB at 500 Hz, 10 dB at 1000 Hz, 5 dB at 2000 Hz, 10 dB at 3000 Hz, 15 dB at 4000 Hz, 20 dB at 6000